He is such a slut. More and more my type.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Randomize
