ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
You can't motorboat a personality
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize