i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case