So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.