i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
