didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
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