Well douche your snatch and let's go!
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
