what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
