Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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