It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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