Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
