he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
