im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
