come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
