Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
