i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
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i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
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WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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