and you said cock pushups were impossible
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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