i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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