He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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