After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
