Did you just see the Batmobile???
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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