sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
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He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
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Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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