Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
