just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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