i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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