I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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