Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
