so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
