No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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