So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
