dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You need a sexual gate keeper
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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