i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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