try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
