whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
he's single and there are thong briefs.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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