My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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