1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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