yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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