I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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