In the future we'll all be gay
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
