Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
