dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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