You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Randomize
