the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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