I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
