Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
