haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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