Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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