Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
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