I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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