you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
