uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
