Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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