he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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