what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize