So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
