Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
