And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
