You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
