cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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