so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
