actually, I'm a sock model
You're my little dorito
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
