He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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