I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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