as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
