you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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