At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
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