no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
