i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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