She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize