we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Come share oat with me in your robe
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize