I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
