the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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