I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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